So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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