I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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