I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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