; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
