He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
