Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
