I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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