I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
