somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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