Pappa wants mamma naked
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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