Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Randomize
