Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
