i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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