We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
sex in a hospital.. check
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
