the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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