Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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