SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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