I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize