So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
