Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
