So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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