and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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