Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
