I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
