Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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