he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
