The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
