fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
