Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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