I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
