Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
we should paint friendship bongs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
