And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
