What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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