There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
