Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
