I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
