Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
