Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
