Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the condom got lost in my hair
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think i have two assholes
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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