bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
