You just made me feel so damn special
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
