He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Semen is not good for contacts.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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