You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
