I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
