The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
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