Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
