I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
