he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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