Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
