Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
