Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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