I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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