I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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