sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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