Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
