If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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