Sry I called you an 8
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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