woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
