Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize